i need money i need money i need money x100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

life had been so boring for me.i've been staying at home facing the comp whole day unless i'm out for trainings/friendlies.wanted to go out and walk/window shop/spend time with friends like nana jasmine they all/watch match but no money makes me feel so turn off! ): how i wish when i walk there's a 100dollar note in front right beside my legs.that would be so great.my ezlink's no money alr and i have to top up again and that means another 10bucks poorer. ):

womens open is drawing nearer and 1st match is on this coming sun.i'm so not looking forward to it cos i'm of no help to the team and everything i do seems so meaningless and worthless and so insignificant. ): i don't feel like playing ball anymore becos i don't seems to be improving i don't seems to be looking forward to training i don't seems to be getting praises etc.i don't like it i don't like it. ):

i went to cut my hair and i finally had the courage to snip my beautiful fringe off to bangs.yeah imagine me with bangs.i think i look so ugly. ): bird said i act cute by cutting bangs. ): but mum and hairdresser and mum's friend said i look pretty in it.but still,nobody had seen my bangs except my family and bird.i don't think i have the courage to face the world.i hope my hair grows faster cos i love grown-bangs which means bangs that are poking into my eyes that kind.ok hair grow pls. ):

stupid me went thinking abt things that had happened in those jurongs days and those unfair accusations and treatments.i complained all out to yipmunting and i'm such a ass to cry over the phone with her.omg so paiseh and throw face.but well,what's done is done.i can't turn back time either.and i feel so totally unfair.fuck.

and i think i've lost my one and close best friend which i used to have throughout my secondary days.yah i know i can't rely on one best friend as i still have so many other good friends like na meimei jasmine.but i'm one who follow my emotions and being comfortable with a friend is very important to me and it takes a long time for me to feel comfortable being with friend and which will eventually turns out to be my best friend.but tell me how to?and how to find back the best friend i used to have,i used to feel so comfortable being with,i used to have countless of talks and gossips,i used to turn to when i need someone?sigh ): what's wrong with things between us and what went wrong?but it's true that the reason we drifted is becos of your precious. ):

sch's reopening soon and i hate it as i'll be in a new environment and new friends new class.and what's worse each module i'll be in a different class.argh!kill me. ): but the happy thing is that i'll have my sister to meet during breaks as she's in NP too. (:

haha what's up with this post?all unhappy stuffs and nothing for me to be happy abt. ):
but nvm, 只要笑一笑，没有什么事情过不了 (:


i need sunflowers to cheer me uppppppp. ):